Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Ah choo!

Some time ago, Mama and I had a difference of opinion.

We were talking about the tragedy our family has faced, and how we wanted the people who supported us then to celebrate with us at the wedding. She said, “There won’t be a dry eye in the house!”

Knowing that my tears usually end up in the ugly cry (like Paris below), I thought it might be nice to give something helpful to our guests with similarly tearful tendencies.


I remembered reading about the super cute tissue packs that people provide to wedding guests, and I thought about doing something similar. I researched the cost of the packets (either to buy them prepared, or to prepare them myself), and I realized that hankies would cost about the same. Two of my aunts and my MOH had small collections of vintage hankies from relatives that they would like to use for something meaningful, and they offered parts of those collections to me. I was so stoked!


I told Mama of my plan, and she said, “Well, that’s basically assuming that people will cry at your wedding!” Um? I was confused.

This disagreement has long since been resolved, and Mama bought me a beautiful lot of vintage hankies on eBay. (Mama is an eBay warrior!) But this got me thinking . . . IS it rude to provide handkerchiefs at the wedding? Does it send a self-centered message? Or is it sweet and old fashioned? Just wondering.

All this thinking about cloth over paper has spilled over into my everyday (nonwedding!) life. I switched in the past year from paper napkins to cloth napkins, and I LOVE them. They make each meal seem more special, AND they’re good for the environment. Just toss ‘em in the laundry with your clothes, and out they come, ready to be reused.

I’ve got this cool coworker who lives on a farm with a peach tree, an apple tree, a cherry tree, huckleberry bushes, and a wonderful vegetable garden. She brings in loads of delicious local organic produce for all of us to share. If she leaves our office, I’m totally going with her. She’s amazing!

So this week, I was telling her about the cloth napkins, and she said she’d switched to hankies too. The very next day, two beautiful new hankies were on my desk. I haven’t used them yet – they’re so pretty that I don’t want to blow my nose on them. But I imagine it’s only a matter of time. My Kleenex box is running awfully low.

So here’s to hankies (and the friends who give them to us)! Ah choo!


Aimee said...

I do agree with your Mom that it is a little presumptuous to assume that people will cry at your wedding.

I don't mean any disrespect to you, but you need to realize that for all but 3 or 4 people who attend your wedding, it will be just another day. Just one more wedding to attend, another gift to buy, etc. That doesn't mean that you and your fiance aren't special to each of them, but no one is as involved in a wedding as the bride and groom.

Most people will sit and listen, and some may tear up a little bit. It will be your parents and your very best friends who cry. But most of the people at your wedding will not cry.

Again, I don't mean to be harsh... but this is not such a thing of pivotal importance to most of the people at your wedding. I especially think it would be a bad idea to hang out vintage handkerchiefs from your relatives if they are of any importance to you. No one is going to wipe their nose and give the handkerchief back to you.

Jules said...

Thanks for the comments! We don't expect anyone to return the hankies(!), and we wouldn't even hand them out. I think we'd put them in a basket near the guestbook for anyone who wants to take one. Even if they don't cry (and I expect most people won't!), we hope it would be a nice, old fashioned way to remember the day. Does that make it seem less presumptuous?