Receiving Lines are Like Lawyers

Miss Manners says that the bride and the groom must greet every guest at the wedding. When you have invited a jillion people, however, it’s pretty doggone difficult to figure out a way to greet everyone in a sincere but efficient way.

The Mister and I would like to enjoy the reception, which means enjoying our guests. It does not, however, mean being cornered at the reception by Crazy Aunt Talksalot, who wants to tell us all about her hemorrhoids. We want to be hospitable and gracious, but we also want to have a moment or two to enjoy the day and to eat our own dinners. (I get grouchy when I don’t eat, which would lead to me telling Aunt Talksalot where to stick her hemorrhoids, if you know what I mean.)

As far as I can tell, there are five basic options to greet the guests:
1. A traditional receiving line, with parents and the bridal party included.
2. Just the bride and the groom at the back of the ceremony, greeting guests.
3. Reentering the ceremony to release the rows of guests one by one.
4. Going around from table to table at the reception.
5. Randomly seeing people at the reception, without any plan to get to everybody.

My entire experience at weddings involves waiting to greet the bride and groom. Whether it’s in a receiving line at the ceremony, being released by rows, or searching the dark reception for a flash of white dress, this waiting seems to take forever. I will admit that forever is slightly more bearable when I’ve got a canapé in my mouth and a glass of wine in my hand, but forever it is. The Mister and I didn’t know what to do.

So we took a poll of friends and family. What did they do? How long did it take them? What would they do differently? Here’s what I learned.

Receiving lines are like lawyers. People hate lawyers, but they love their own. Most people looooved whatever method they used at their own weddings, and they haaaated every other method that anyone else has ever tried.

There were a few exceptions, however. Several people who went table to table at the reception did not have a chance to eat dinner or enjoy the party. They wished that they had used option 1, 2, or 3. These are the people who got corned by Aunt Talksalot. And Uncle Gripey.

If only we could combine the concepts – instead of communion, we could serve canapés and real wine (rather than the crangrape juice I swear our church serves). “This bruchetta is the body of Christ, and by the way, we loved the toaster!” But I digress. Into blasphemy.

Here’s our decision. We are NOT doing option #1. People want to see us, and briefly. All four of my parents have the gift of gab, and if they were included in the receiving line, we’d be there until my next birthday. We are NOT doing option #5. I’m sure it works very well when you have a small or medium sized wedding, but at a biggun, it’s well nigh impossible. Besides, we want to make the effort affirmatively to thank each person for coming.

If it’s sunny, we’ll stand at the back of the ceremony to greet guests as they head outside to wait for our grand getaway. That way, if they are dying to go to the bathroom (or just don’t really want to say hello to us), they can slip out of the receiving line to do what they’ve gotta do. If it’s raining, however, we need a place for people to congregate out of the elements. That’s in the back of the ceremony where we would do the receiving line on a sunny day. So if Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate, we’ll reenter the ceremony to release the rows. That way, people can remain seated until we get to their row, so they’ll be more comfortable.

For those of you who were rooting for option #4, may I make a suggestion? A few well-chosen items from your hotel mini bar would recreate the canapé-and-wine feeling you’d get while waiting to see us at the reception. And if you don’t want the procedure to take forever, leave your hemorrhoid stories at home. (wink!)

(P.S. The picture in this post is of a branch of the Mister's family. His beloved grandfather is third from the left, no doubt thinking that wedding photos take even longer than receving lines.)

Topper Trends

Mama asked me this weekend, “What are you doing about the cake topper?” And I said, “OhmygoshI’msoexcitedaboutthecaketopper!” Mama replied, “Uh oh.” You see, whenever I’m sooo excited about a creative wedding idea, it has about a 20% chance of being crazy.

Mama admitted she wasn’t up on the current world of cake toppers, so here are three of my favorite trends:

First off, you’ve got the handmade, creative cake topper, which includes these clothespin darlings from thesmallobject:

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And these birdies from Ann Wood:
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And the bride, groom, and their dog from Miss Shortcake on weddingbee:
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The problem with these toppers is that the first two are exorbitantly expensive ($135 and $280, respectively), and the third requires mad papier mache skillz that I do not have. Besides, half the fun of the wedding is coming up with a creative, reasonably-priced solution to each problem using the skillz I do have.

Next trend: Vintage toppers!
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I love vintage toppers, but they are a bit small for the huge, beautiful cake Momma Mac got us.

The third trend I love is the use of letters and words. Both the Mister and I love books and reading. And we’ve decided to decorate the cake with the words of our vows, rather than flowers or other decorations.

The first idea we ‘stormed up was this paperweight based on the artwork of Robert Indiana. I love the simplicity (and the sentiment!), but I’m a bit worried that the paperweight will be too heavy on top of the cake. It costs $65. We’re still thinkin’ about it.
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We could incorporate our initials, which is a huge trend in the wedding industry right now. I love the simplicity of this design too! And they’re very affordable at around $20 to $30 each.
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Our final idea is to use the words of our vows on top of the cake, so that folks wouldn’t have to circle the cake to read them in their entirety. I can make a vow topper any size we like, so it would be in proportion to the cake. I also adore that this idea focuses on the most important part of the wedding – the promises we make to each other. Shouldn’t they be the centerpiece of the wedding?

If we choose this option, I would print out the vows on lovely white paper. To coordinate with the black ribbon on the cake, and to echo the design of our invitations and programs, I would adhere the white paper to black cardstock, so the vows are framed and emphasized. I would do two copies of the vows, and stick them back to back with a skewer in the middle, which could be inserted in the cake to make the vows stand up straight.

Spoiler alert: Our vows are written on this sample cake topper, so if you’d rather be surprised at the wedding, read no further.


I told Mama about the vow topper, and she was initially dismayed that it would be two-dimensional. But now she is beginning to like the idea (or so she says!). Which idea is your favorite?

Office Depot Centerpieces

The previous two posts detail the personal flowers we'll be using for the wedding. So far, our floral budget consists of four flowers for the mothers and some floral tape. Dats it. "But we still have the ceremony and reception to decorate!” you say. And you’re right.

The ceremony will be held in the church where I was baptized, confirmed, served as a deacon, and am still a member. Fortunately, it’s beautiful on its own.

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Helloooo, Gorgeous! Even better, they provide a lovely white floral arrangement at the front of the church. And they’ll let us use their wrought iron candle holders that go at the end of each pew. Sure, I could decorate the church further, but why gild the lily? I can’t remember anything different about the ceremony décor of any wedding I’ve ever seen in a church. ‘Nuff said.

But surely we must have floral centerpieces for the reception! Not so much. The Mister and I love the way that candle centerpieces look on the tables – warm and inviting and intimate. So I started brainstorming ways to make the candle centerpieces uniquely ours. We wanted the centerpieces to do double duty by informing guests of the table names and numbers.

I’m really jazzed about the table names! Based on our love of all things British, and the fact that I used to live in London, we are naming the tables after central London tube stops. Westminster. Covent Garden. Tottenham Court Road. Piccadilly! I’m all excited just typing the names! Makes me want to sip a cuppa Earl Grey while humming “God Save the Queen.” Mind the Gap! And whatnot.

By the way, does anyone else love that the Brits *actually* say “whilst”? Like, “Whist I was washing the dishes . . . .” It makes even the most mundane thing seem just a smidge fancy.

I love the silhouette trend, so whilst I was designing the centerpieces, I incorporated chandelier silhouettes into the design to add an elegant graphic element to the table numbers. Enough talk! Here’s the eye candy:

Sorry for the blurry photos. Time to get a new camera!

Here's how to make one: (1) Print your design on paper. (2) Wrap paper into a cylinder and secure with double stick tape. (3) Put battery operated candles or throwies inside the cylinder. (4) Well, there is no fourth step. That’s it, folks. Couldn’t be easier. If you want to use real candles, you should wrap the paper around a glass cylinder, so the paper doesn’t catch on fire. (You know my fear of fire at weddings.)

We’re using two on each table, a big luminary made on 11x17” paper with our table name, number, and the chandelier graphic that Mrs. Flamingo at weddingbee so graciously gave me, and a smaller one made on 8.5x11” paper with another chandelier design in reverse. We’ll put multiple lights in each luminary. If that’s not enough light, we’ll also do individual luminaries wrapped around single candles with candelabra silhouettes. Here’s an assortment:

The best part is that they can be made in advance, using regular old copy paper from the office supply store. Lots of visual drama for notta lotta moolah.

Anybody else shopping at Office Depot for their centerpieces? (Wink.)

Recipe for Makin' Love

I’m sincerely hoping that our first dance to the uber cute song “Recipe for Making Love” by Harry Connick, Jr. We have a few other songs that have very special meanings to us, and we could sway back and forth to those songs. Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. True Companion by Marc Cohn. C is for Cookie by the Cookie Monster. You know. The classics.

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As much as I like those romantic slow songs, I’d like for people to be entertained by our first dance. I love the whole trick-first-dance-followed-by-a-rockin’-dance-number, but it’s become so common that people sort of expect it nowadays. I think something between the stand-and-sway and the trick-first-dance is the way to go. Thus the delightful Harry Connick song.

As you guys know, I’ve been planning a family wedding photo guestbook. And I want to give people the opportunity to write something in the book other than their addresses, which we already know, or they wouldn’t have gotten their wedding invitations, so they wouldn’t be at the wedding, and they wouldn’t be signing the guestbook. Duh. So I started thinking about our first dance song, and I came up with this question for people to answer in the guestbook:

If marriage is a recipe, what are its ingredients?

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Whaddya think? Do you like the question? What are the ingredients?

Pip Pip!

Apparently, signature drinks are all the rage in the wedding industry. They were created so that couples who couldn’t afford an entirely open bar could have an open beer and wine bar with one cocktail made from hard liquor that was their “signature drink.” The idea was soooo cool that it quickly spread to people with more moolah. (Why should the frugal folks get to have all the fun?) Then people started having signature drink “menus” of multiple drinks with incredibly clever names (like Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue). The exceptionally creative Miss Cream Puff over on weddingbee even created an entire signature drink menu around her pets:

I don’t really drink hard alcohol. And there’s a good reason. I’m a drinker, not a sipper. Gulping candy-flavored hooch on half-price martini Thursdays means that my legs are so rubbery they’re practically liquefied. One martini. Two martini. Three martini. Floor. Or, as Mr. Mama likes to say, “You had ti many martoonis.”

The Mister and I recently went out to the super cool place we got engaged. When I started talking about the year I graduated law school, he laughed and said, “I graduated high school that year.” (I did graduate college in three years, so that means that the Mister and I have a six-year age difference. Usually I’m pretty good natured about being a cougar. Rawr. But the thought of dating a highschooler while I was graduating law school?! I felt positively ancient!) I marched right over to the bartender and said, “I need a very big my-fiance-made-me-feel-old drink.” I don’t know what he put in there. And I think it was free. I don’t really remember, because I sucked it down, got over feeling old, and tritzed back to the table. I was tooootally fine for approximately eleven and a half minutes.

So, when our wedding caterer asked us about a signature drink, all I could imagine was me slurping hard liquor out of the dreaded bubba keg (which the Mister LOVES and I loathe), slurring my vows and whatnot. Um, no thanks.

But the Mister had a brilliant idea. What about Guinness as our signature drink? It pokes a little good-natured fun at the entire concept by being anything but a mixed drink. Guinness fits right in with our “across the pond” reception décor (more on that later). And it has the added benefit of being drinkable (rather than purely sippable)! The caterer threw in even more fun by suggesting that waiters pass our high fallootin’ signature drink in tiny beer mugs. Pip, pip! Cheerio, old boy! I can’t wait to hear all those teensy clinks as people toast with the little buggers!

See why I love my Mister?